Anecdote Rant

Mono-tony, doo-doo-de-doo-doo

I had planned to write a review of Die Another Day this week, but I have contracted mono. Yes, at the age of 36, I have “the kissing disease” more commonly known among teenagers. Although everyone keeps asking me who I’ve been kissing, no, I have not kissed any teenagers recently. Nor have I kissed anyone other than my wife. Thankfully, she doesn’t have mono.

The more interesting aspect of this is that I knew I had mono even before the doctor confirmed the diagnosis. I had come back from a business trip and been home for a few days, when I developed a roller-coaster fever – cycling up and down over the course of less than an hour. I also had night sweats and chills. Then nausea hit me.

The profound symptom that made me know it was mono, however, was that I started to feel irresistibly tired and sleepy. No sooner was I up and showered, when I felt like I needed a nap. After work, that’s what I would come home and do without even caring about dinner. I had never experienced anything like it before, but I had heard that mono makes you incredibly tired.

When I phoned my insurance company’s nurse line to check my symptoms, the nurse didn’t believe I could have mono. She actually got rather rude about it, telling me I was wasting her time and would be wasting my doctor’s time if I went to him for what she thought was just a fleeting virus. That night, I couldn’t hold down any food at all. I went to my doctor the next morning.

A urine test showed that my liver was out-of-whack in a way that was consistent with mono. The blood test would take several days to come back, but the doctor immediately ordered me to take a medical leave from work and stay in bed. I’m actually staying on the couch, dozing in and out of television shows that I can’t follow for even half an episode. I’m having a hard time holding down Pedialyte and Boost. In addition, I will admit, I am so tired that my mood is irritable. Recovery, I’m told, may take about six weeks. So much for Thanksgiving.


By Christian Lee

Christian Stuart Lee's Rants and Chants has entertained and informed readers since January 2002. Rants and Chants includes non-fiction writing -- anecdotes, essays, movie reviews, and more. He is diligently working on a novel and other projects, which he hopes to publish soon. He is available for freelance writing -- the materials in Rants and Chants will give you a sense of his interests, knowledge, and style.